my soul is
a wildfire
consuming
burning
destroying

my heart is
a wanderer
incessantly
searching for the fullness
it felt when it
was younger

my eyes are
constellations
lost in the starry dreams
i once held inside me

my arms are
crossbows
attempting to shoot
love
into the souls
of every human
within reach

my lips are
raindrops
that try to fill
the void
left by
pain
and pain
and pain

my hands are broken
remnants of every
tear
scream
heart
and dream
i tried to hold
onto

-dedh // april 5, 2017

the light fades
from your eyes
i can see childhood
ebbing away from your soul
but don’t let go
cling tight
cling tight
cling tight
for the love you have now
is lifeblood
in an otherwise
dreary world
-dedh // april 2, 2017

you told me i was worthy
of all the love in the world
you told me i deserved the sky
you told me to follow my heart
for surely my heart knows best
you told me i had all i needed inside me
you lied to me

i’m a mess
some say i shouldn’t say that
but it’s my truth
i’m a mess
and if i’m not
i should be
i’m not a perfect picture of happiness
but a snapshot of depravity
i’m a failure
i’m unworthy
i’m ugly
i’m useless
i’m nothing

until Him

when Light touched my life
oh, how things changed

when weakness drew me to Him
He reached down and gave me strength
to stand again
when i lay before Him
worthless and pointless
He gave grace and love and
stretched out His hand to me
when i say i am a mess
it’s because without Him
i’m a mess
and i need Someone to clean me up
I’m a mess
and i can rejoice because if i wasn’t
tangled and broken
there wouldn’t be any reason
to need Him.
-dedh // april 3

sleep calls again
the numbness
of dying to it all
is growing once more
my eyes close
i try in vain
to stay awake
every breath i take
is slow and weak
the world is tugging me
to sleep
to rest
to drift without a thought

to wander

aimlessly

and i follow

numbly

but i hear
a voice
a strong, calm voice
calling out to me

my eyelids stir
my mind turns again
i shake my sleeping limbs
and
hands lift me
from the realm of dreams

“please don’t let me
fall asleep,”
i whisper to Him. 

-dedh // April 1, 2017